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got_quietMedical care in this country is so broken. I got some email telling me it's time for a checkup, and I can do it this hybrid way where I fill out an internet survey first and then there's followup by a person. It warns you that this costs money, but it said that it took my insurance, so I figured ok, I guess this is a thing I should do.
They make you fill out this form which is like, how old are you, how much do you weigh, do you remember your last blood pressure check, do you need a HIV test, etc. All absolutely basic stuff. And at the end it's like, thanks, that'll be 350 fucking dollars lol. 350 entire bucks to tell a survey I don't get enough exercise. Now, I do have insurance, but it does not tell you if your insurance actually covers this bullshit and it doesn't give you the cost of the service until the very end, so it's not like anyone can make an informed decision on whether or not it's worth it to roll the dice. And I think my insurance does cover the service but when I saw that number I still became murderous with rage. This country is so broken. And this isn't even for the fucking follow up, in which someone actually has to do something. Fuck this shit.
*
Anyway, I finished reading Teckla. Spoilers below, but it's an old book so...
This volume is a departure from the previous two books, which felt soundly in the genre of a sort of murder mystery, or adventure with a core problem solvable by outplaying a clear adversary. Instead of a "how will he solve this" story, Jhereg is more introspective and interested in some political questions. But it also remains in a close PoV to a character who is actively disinterested in and then practically hostile to those political issues. While there was a little too much hemming and hawing by Vlad over what he was going to do about the fact that his wife was associating with a social movement targeted by assassins, I did like the fact that Vlad is essentially one of the bad guys in the is book. He's a self-interested person who refuses to be introspective about how his rise to power as a crime lord and assassin is not good for the soul. He's a hypocrite blaming movement leadership for "not caring about real people" while also actively considering murdering all of that leadership just to force Cawti against her will out of the movement as if the people he wants to kill aren't also real, and his obsession with keeping Cawti safe looks more like making her decisions for her even though she's perfectly capable of risk assessment herself. Basically, he sucks throughout the entire book.
I still enjoyed reading it though. Even though I wanted to whack Vlad over the head repeatedly, it was truly refreshing to read about a protagonist who was truly fucking it all up and not in a romance comedy way. I worried, especially in the later third, that the narrative was going to ultimately vindicate his bullshit, and he does get out of this one just like the previous books without any real epiphany, but some minor progress is made, and the community organizers that he hates so much don't fall to his mechanisms, so there is some hope.
*
In HSR news, I am fuming that there's not a single male 5-star in this rotation. I want to roll for Moze, but there is no pity for 4 stars and I don't want to waste my jade on the ladies. As much as I like them, as a F2P I can't afford them if I want to go all in for when the guys pop up. So I used my free 10-pull of Feixiao and just got Asta. *weep*
I am however enjoying this patch's side story. The Belabogians are still my favorite cast (yes, more than Penacony) and Luka was in my roster for a long time. HSR's writing also feels much stronger with their smaller, encapsulated storylines. I haven't finished the tournament, but I figure I'll get there in a couple of more days. And then it's time to see how bad the Apocalyptic Shadow is.
*
I've been trying to write a few fic for the Fandom Gift Basket, but it's just not happening. I can't get my brain to discard all the other shit I have going on and focus. And I'm not finding any good hooks to get my dumbass brain zoned in. I was able to write 2 gifts for the last one so I feel bummed that I'm not doing my part better this time. I'll keep on trying I guess. (Also I know some people hate it when people complain about their own writing, in which case, fair warning, that's all I fucking do when I talk about writing. It's suffering.)
As I was trying to get something down tonight I was thinking about my life back in high school, when I was writing thousands of words every day, simply due to the fact that my school was trash, I was bored to the point of mental break for 8 hours a day, and all I had to keep myself from screaming in frustration was a pen and a notebook. I don't miss those days, because again, school bored me so much that I swear to god it legitimately traumatized me, but boy does being trapped in a 0 stimulus environment for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, provide an opportunity for a certain degree of creativity. Now whenever I sit down all I can think about is the 100s of things that I need to get done, and the consequences of not doing them is no longer a 0 and a teacher saying they are concerned I'm not living up to my potential, lol.
They make you fill out this form which is like, how old are you, how much do you weigh, do you remember your last blood pressure check, do you need a HIV test, etc. All absolutely basic stuff. And at the end it's like, thanks, that'll be 350 fucking dollars lol. 350 entire bucks to tell a survey I don't get enough exercise. Now, I do have insurance, but it does not tell you if your insurance actually covers this bullshit and it doesn't give you the cost of the service until the very end, so it's not like anyone can make an informed decision on whether or not it's worth it to roll the dice. And I think my insurance does cover the service but when I saw that number I still became murderous with rage. This country is so broken. And this isn't even for the fucking follow up, in which someone actually has to do something. Fuck this shit.
*
Anyway, I finished reading Teckla. Spoilers below, but it's an old book so...
This volume is a departure from the previous two books, which felt soundly in the genre of a sort of murder mystery, or adventure with a core problem solvable by outplaying a clear adversary. Instead of a "how will he solve this" story, Jhereg is more introspective and interested in some political questions. But it also remains in a close PoV to a character who is actively disinterested in and then practically hostile to those political issues. While there was a little too much hemming and hawing by Vlad over what he was going to do about the fact that his wife was associating with a social movement targeted by assassins, I did like the fact that Vlad is essentially one of the bad guys in the is book. He's a self-interested person who refuses to be introspective about how his rise to power as a crime lord and assassin is not good for the soul. He's a hypocrite blaming movement leadership for "not caring about real people" while also actively considering murdering all of that leadership just to force Cawti against her will out of the movement as if the people he wants to kill aren't also real, and his obsession with keeping Cawti safe looks more like making her decisions for her even though she's perfectly capable of risk assessment herself. Basically, he sucks throughout the entire book.
I still enjoyed reading it though. Even though I wanted to whack Vlad over the head repeatedly, it was truly refreshing to read about a protagonist who was truly fucking it all up and not in a romance comedy way. I worried, especially in the later third, that the narrative was going to ultimately vindicate his bullshit, and he does get out of this one just like the previous books without any real epiphany, but some minor progress is made, and the community organizers that he hates so much don't fall to his mechanisms, so there is some hope.
*
In HSR news, I am fuming that there's not a single male 5-star in this rotation. I want to roll for Moze, but there is no pity for 4 stars and I don't want to waste my jade on the ladies. As much as I like them, as a F2P I can't afford them if I want to go all in for when the guys pop up. So I used my free 10-pull of Feixiao and just got Asta. *weep*
I am however enjoying this patch's side story. The Belabogians are still my favorite cast (yes, more than Penacony) and Luka was in my roster for a long time. HSR's writing also feels much stronger with their smaller, encapsulated storylines. I haven't finished the tournament, but I figure I'll get there in a couple of more days. And then it's time to see how bad the Apocalyptic Shadow is.
*
I've been trying to write a few fic for the Fandom Gift Basket, but it's just not happening. I can't get my brain to discard all the other shit I have going on and focus. And I'm not finding any good hooks to get my dumbass brain zoned in. I was able to write 2 gifts for the last one so I feel bummed that I'm not doing my part better this time. I'll keep on trying I guess. (Also I know some people hate it when people complain about their own writing, in which case, fair warning, that's all I fucking do when I talk about writing. It's suffering.)
As I was trying to get something down tonight I was thinking about my life back in high school, when I was writing thousands of words every day, simply due to the fact that my school was trash, I was bored to the point of mental break for 8 hours a day, and all I had to keep myself from screaming in frustration was a pen and a notebook. I don't miss those days, because again, school bored me so much that I swear to god it legitimately traumatized me, but boy does being trapped in a 0 stimulus environment for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, provide an opportunity for a certain degree of creativity. Now whenever I sit down all I can think about is the 100s of things that I need to get done, and the consequences of not doing them is no longer a 0 and a teacher saying they are concerned I'm not living up to my potential, lol.
no subject
Date: 2024-09-18 11:19 am (UTC)I feel you on the writing front. These days it feels like I'm pulling teeth trying to get the words to come out the way I want them to.
no subject
Date: 2024-09-19 03:07 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-09-18 02:17 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-09-19 03:07 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-09-19 03:56 am (UTC)I personally think Teckla is one of the worst books in the series. I'm not sure what order you're going in, publishing or chronological, but either way, my personal favorites are a couple books down the line.
(Also just FYI, it's "TeCkla", not "TEKla").
And yeah, medical care is so shit. I'm so exhausted by all of it, let alone the cost.
no subject
Date: 2024-09-20 04:47 am (UTC)I'm reading the books in the order they're listed on the wiki page, which seems to be date of publication. I'm curious to see where he goes from here.
(corrected!)
no subject
Date: 2024-09-20 04:54 am (UTC)Ah they're in both publication and in-universe chronological order on the wikipedia page :D If you mean Lyorn Reocrds, the fanwiki, then yes, that seems to be publication order. Hope you enjoy other entries! I personally think "Teckla" was a low point in the series, particularly given he went on to write my three favorite books in the series some years afterward.
no subject
Date: 2024-09-24 04:04 am (UTC)and omggg $350 just for the survey? I would hope that would cover the follow up too at least (not that that isn't a wild amount for a checkup too)
no subject
Date: 2024-10-03 03:24 am (UTC)