Late to whatever Burnt train there was

[got_quiet]

Just saw Burnt and WHAT THE FUCK WHY DID I NOT KNOW THIS MOVIE EXISTED?! (answer: because I pay 0 attention to film) I literally found out about it today via some random youtube short with a scene that didn't even exist in the final version, and decided to watch purely because I'm weak to Daniel Bruhl in a suit. I went in blind and had no idea what I was in for but what I was in for turned out to be one-sided gay pining and loyalty kink that was 100% textual. There was 0 squinting required.

 

So the main character Adam is very stereotypical Brilliant Asshole chef guy who has destroyed his life and everything in his orbit, and the movie starts off basically with him showing up at Tony's doorstep (played by Bruhl.. I mean Tony, not the doorstep) and literally goes "I'm taking over your restaurant." So, a total asshole. And Tony is rightfully like, yeah, fuck off. The two of them have a deep history pre movie obviously.

There is a scene where Tony snoops around Adam’s hotel room because he literally owns the hotel. This was I assume to find evidence of whether Adam really was as sober as he claimed to be (he checks the free alcohol etc.), but at some point Tony stops and sniffs one of Adam's shirts. And I think to myself well that was kind of gay... but surely that's not what's going on here and he's checking for pot and alcohol stench or something, not holding a candle for this human disaster who disappeared on him for two years.

(Uh, Tony?)

Tony then kicks Adam out of his hotel because he's still mad at Adam for being a shithead, but Adam, being a shithead, manipulates Tony into letting him run his restaurant anyway. Tony agrees to this only on the stipulation that Adam get drug tested weekly by Tony's psychotherapist, who also ends up giving him some free therapy sessions in the process. (The movie is a little weird, plot wise.)

Fast forward a whole bunch. The restaurant is coming together, we're half way through the movie with Adam kind of slowly getting what he wants while still being an asshole and Tony just playing background support and feeding into my loyalty kink like coal into a train engine and then there's a short therapy scene where the therapist says this:


 

At which point I'm like whawhwwhwahahaaa?! There is clearly a straight love interest in this movie so I'm not getting my hopes up for anything, but I'm such a fucking sucker for one sided pining it's like what the hell why is this movie giving me so much!?!

There's a scene after where the two of them actually talk about it?! And Tony's like, yeah I know it's not possible, and you're not pretty anymore anyway. And Adam tries to be less awkward by offering to make him some breakfast (a big love language moment considering other similar moments in the movie) at which point Tony turns him down but "appreciates the thought" lol.


 

Now I don't know if I prefer have one half of a pairing say, "Sorry, I am not gay" in the text, or to just leave things unsaid so I can sneak past the canon more easily, but I belong to the school of "I discard this canon and replace my own" so this will not stop me.

There's also a great scene with Adam's arch nemesis Reese. The two of them have been antagonizing each other the entire movie, but Adam relapses and ends up at his restaurant almost suicidal and his arch nemesis takes care of him, pulls his head out of a sous vide machine, gives him a pillow to sleep on the kitchen floor, and makes him scrambled eggs in the morning. So now I have two ships for this movie lol. The hate sex would be explosive. Honestly I'd be into some Tony/Reese too, just to make Adam suffer.

 

But then the crowning achievement of this movie is that, after that crisis we get the feel good ending third where Adam learns to stop being a jerk, and starts accepting help. After finding out that he wasn't actually completely fucked over in his quest for three Michelin stars he decides to celebrate by kissing the shit out of Tony, who understandably loses his cognitive function. I also had my hands up in the air, like what the hell, why does this movie keep giving?

 

Watch on YouTube

 

This clip misses the half minute of brain stuttering that Tony goes through after the kiss but still, it gets the gist.

 

So while yes, this movie is a very paint by numbers Asshole Prodigy fare, and kind of middling as a story, IDGAF. I am happy for Tony and I want him to be happy and if this special little asshole makes him happy then so be it.