got_quiet: Zenitsu looking panicked (ohno)

The work thing I am anxious about has been adjusted so I have less time to prepare and I am now more anxious! Very cool! It's going to be fine really. I do this every single year and it's always fine in the end, but until it's fine I will be anxious.

Haven't been doing much more than distracting myself about the work thing because of this. I did start watching a short anime called Barakamon. It's a slice of life show about a shodo (Calligraphy) master who has a bit of a crisis of confidence and retreats to a rural island town down south. There are a lot of gags about old technology, nosy neighbors, and swarms of local kids with no sense of personal space teaching the poor main character the joys of pulling his stick out of his ass and having some fun with life. It's cute, kind of dumb, but fun. It was recommended to me because the language has some pretty heavy accents, so it didn't work out very well as a study tool considering I could barely understand what everyone was saying. The accents were as interesting as promised though.

I haven't had much time for doing anything else. Tried to steal a few hours to play VNs since I'm well behind on that, got over my rage moment with Lost Ark and am chilling a little more about that. I've dropped my play time down significantly but still managed to get exactly one run in with the current content (Valtan) before the patch that opens up the new current content lol. Valtan is also a lot more reasonable than Argos but at the same time the next tier of gear means I need to spend time researching optimization, and I both don't have the time, or the desire to do the thing that I hate the absolute most in all of videogaming, which is number crunching and homework. I want flashing lights and twitching gameplay. Not spreadsheets!

Nothing much else is going on except, you know, the crushing weight of the country collapsing down upon us. I'm not sure if knowing we haven't hit the nadir yet is a good or a bad thing.

Anyway, once the work thing is over I'm hoping I get a little more active again and have some time to nerd out more and read mutual posts more closely.

Stagnation

Jun. 6th, 2022 11:38 pm
got_quiet: Topper the stoat looking thing in a winter outfit (Default)

This year so far has been feeling kind of like a wash. I'm not particularly happy with it. The only real positive is that I'm still semi-actively studying Japanese, but work has been burning me out a little bit, and there's some politics and friction going on that is minor but still an annoyance. The twitch in my right eye has come back. It was persistent for a few months last year but then went away cause I guess my stress levels were dropping, but now it's come back with a vengeance.

I'm pretty much on the end of my rope with Lost Ark. While theoretically you can play "at your own pace" in reality if you want to play the game with your friends you have to match the pace with your friends. If you don't you end up only getting to play content after they've solved it, and you end up dying fast to mechanics that are new to you and then waiting for them to one-shot the boss themselves because they had already spent two weeks dying over and over and learning the fight and now they can do it with their eyes closed. It fucking sucks and it's boring as hell. So my options are to double down and start playing even more to catch up, to give up playing with friends and just do the challenging content I can solo, or just fuck off and do something else. Option one is out of the question. Two is where I'm starting to lean, but if that ends up not being enjoyable I'm done. It's a shame because the content is actually interesting when it's challenging.

Overwatch League is back so that's where most of my time is going now. It's already been four weeks of games and last weekend was the stage one final. Because of COVID the league is still split into two regions which are not playing each other at all, and everyone is effectively playing on a beta patch, so there are some problems, but give those problems the games have been exciting, the teams have a lot of good storylines going that make it easy to get invested in their success, and at least some of the games have been extremely competitive.

got_quiet: Topper the stoat looking thing in a winter outfit (Default)

I have not yet ripped myself away from the evil clutches of Lost Ark, but I'm working on it. Meanwhile I have a small backlog of VN reviews so got one of those finished up and posted. That's I think the first of the year, which is not good considering one of my fandom goals was to get all of the BLM bundle VNs reviewed by the end of this  year. I had no clue how it's already May. For real. As for the rest of the things I said I wanted to do this year fandom wise, none of them are even started, but I suppose I knew that was going to happen when I wrote them down.

And I have some job related deadlines that are now causing me some real stress. Yesterday I woke up and there was an email from my boss asking me about some charges from the company card. It turns out I'm a bit of an anxious soul so when I saw that my first thought was that I had some how committed fraud unconsciously and was caught and about to be fired. Once I gathered myself I calmed down and figured I had just managed to get the credit card info stolen and now we were going to have to deal with closing the card account, and once I took a step back from that I actually looked at the charges and they were all legitimate work expenses. I would say surely everyone thinks they're about to be fired any time someone coughs the wrong way but I know that's not actually true.

We are also traveling for work again. This is nice in that I have taken a work trip that brought me close enough to my family that I took a day off before hand to visit for the first time in over two years, and it was wonderful to see my grandma, who is in her mid 90s at this point. It's not so nice in that I have been relatively cautious all throughout the pandemic and now I'm working in crowds again and it fucking sucks because I have to deliberately not care about all the terrible mask behavior, because if I don't I will go insane.

I did get a chance to read Yendi on the last work trip though. I enjoyed it. Not quite as much as the prequel Jhereg, but I was still entertained, and they are easy books to just read cover to cover in a sitting or two.

I also got a little restless one night and decided I just wanted to play something new that wasn't a VN, and started Baba Is You. God damn, that game. It lures you in the first couple levels into thinking your some sort of genius, and then hits you with the real puzzles. I'm stalled out right now on a couple of them and just don't know what I'm missing, but dropping it and coming back a day or two later has gotten me through a number of blocks already. I had been streaming the game for my friends for a bit, but they spoiled a couple puzzles for me so I stopped doing that. They didn't do it intentionally. It's very hard not to offer a suggestion to a solution when you're watching someone else struggle with it lol, especially when it's one of those games where once you see the solution you feel a little silly for having spent sometimes literal hours trying to figure it out.

I also tried playing a little bit of Cloud Gardens, but it was too mindless for me. It's similar to a puzzle game I guess, in the sense that you place object on a scene and try to reach a certain number of points based on how much you can make the greenery grow, but it's more just a sort of landscape dollhouse thing. It's pretty, but I was looking for something a little more engaging.

Books!

Mar. 30th, 2022 10:17 pm
got_quiet: Topper the stoat looking thing in a winter outfit (Default)

I've been reading a little more than usual (or at least I had been until Lost Ark came out fml) and have hit some good things, some bad, things, and some things where I'm not sure where to place them.

Two books I got from the librarything review program, which tends to be a crapshoot. Sometimes there's good stuff that comes through, but most of the books that are put up for grabs are from vanity presses, small presses, self pub stuff, and so on and so forth. I don't believe that such books must necessarily be bad and have enjoyed a number of them, but I do think that major publishers have more robust filters to prevent the really awful stuff from getting through. Often times reading and reviews these books feels more like participating in a writer's workshop than reviewing a finished book.

The first book I read for the purpose of a review was called Madison's Cave, and stylized itself as an experimental work of epistolary fiction. Basically it was Thomas Jefferson kinda sorta writing letters to James Madison (who has nothing to do with the cave of the same name). These letters are extremely boring. Jefferson just goes on and on and on about what feels like very little. He's not even trying to make an argument or anything, he's just like, let me write a few thousand words about my gravestone in the most opaque and difficult language possible. Is this true to Jefferson's actual approach to writing? Maybe? Does that make it enjoyable? Not at all. I didn't finish. And I read 19th century material with some regularity so it's not like I am a stranger to tedium.

The second book I got from the program was called Anax, and the less said about this one the better. It was just... not ready for publication. There were typos and basic grammatical mistakes galore, and the plot was actively making me angry because it was so dumb. But this is also a book that I think came out of a vanity publisher and I have expelled my bile about it in my review on librarything so I'm not going to rehash the same shit here. Suffice it to say that if you promise an interesting mystery on page one, and then on the final page are still swearing that that there's something interesting that may be revealed... next book, you've wasted everyone's time. I can feel the ranting mood coming on again so I'm moving on.

The next book I read was a SIGNIFICANT jump in quality. I grabbed it from the new acquisitions shelf in the library. It was called When we Cease to Understand the World and was, to put it simply, a fictionalized account of certain scientific breakthroughs, mostly regarding physics. I had some issues with it, mostly how it slowly folds more and more fiction into what starts out as almost completely factual narrative. There's a review in the New Yorker that reflected my thinking on it pretty well so I don't feel the need to elaborate too much.  Because it sort of tells you that it's lying (if you read the back matter first like I always do) I found it difficult to get completely absorbed because I was in a state of constant skepticism. I also found some of the fictional embellishments to be the weaker parts of the book, particularly when the author spends a bunch of time making Schrodinger inappropriately fixated on a teenage girl to the point where he molests her in her sleep. Something about taking a real person and describing them that way feels inappropriate, especially when so much of the book is sitting in a "true or not" gray area. Did Schrodinger actually sexually assault someone? This isn't a fact I want to be unsure about.

The other thing I was a little wary of was the core premise of the book, which sort of describes all of these big thinkers as a little crazy (which is semi true as a lot of their behavior I looked up and yeah, little crazy) but also people who after being exposed to a deeper mathematical truth seem to decide that it's just too dangerous and they're done with math, or at least disturbed by what they've discovered. The book sets the scene in the first chapter by describing a lot of the scientific advancements that the Nazis exploited to murder millions of people, and makes reference to then atom bomb and so on, and goes on to discuss the sacrifices we might make to know, or whether knowing is a good thing after all. I wasn't super comfortable with this question, as someone who very firmly does want to know, and who thinks that turning from what's true doesn't stop it from being dangerous, if it's dangerous. And in particular because the author is putting these feelings into the mouths of historical scientists, I wasn't sure how much I liked people being mouthpieces for an attitude I couldn't tell if they actually held.

But I still really liked the book because even where I disagree with it, and even if I am not entirely sold on the approach, it was challenging and narratively engaging. The first half in particular I enjoyed a lot. The "novella" section with Schrodinger and Heisenberg started to show some weaknesses, but the final chapter stuck the landing. I've already recommended it to a friend who's a fellow Calvino fan because it has a similar feel at times. It's a book I wanted to talk about, which is a nice change from the two that came before it.

After that I picked up Piranesi, which is the second novel of Suzanna Clarke's. I loved Johnathan Strange and Mr. Norrell. In fact it's probably my favorite fantasy book of all time. So I was excited to read this one and wasn't disappointed. It generates the same atmosphere, and has the same approach to fantasy that I loved so much in the first book. Magic is wonderful, terrifying, and mysterious. I generally prefer the "soft magic" as Sanderson puts it, where the story is not about mastering the system but surviving it, and this feels like Clarke's specialty.

The tension is centered on Piranesi slowly beginning to realize something we as readers understand quite quickly, and so the book reads something like a mystery story where one is anticipating just how much will be revealed and whether or not certain people will get away with it. This book is a lot shorter than Strange and Norrell so the elaborate connections between characters is not quite there, but even with more limited space and a more focused story they're all still intriguing. Piranesi, the main character is a great protagonist. He's an innocent and trusting person surrounded by deceitful, terrible people. The supporting cast is full of people who are significantly more unpleasant than those in Strange in Norrell, but they're interesting in the way reading a wiki about a real world cult can be interesting.

My only gripe, and it is a pretty big gripe, is that one of the characters' homosexuality is explicitly associated with a distasteful, transgressive personality that involves things like smelling like shit and being a murderer. It felt so strongly like a quintessential queer villain trope that it dampened my enthusiasm for the book considerably. I kinda like the queer villain trope in certain contexts, but this one rubbed me the wrong way. I'm bummed about it, actually, cause I want to rec the book unequivocally but I just can't with this bit stuck in my craw.

That's not enough for me to dislike the book entirely though. I just have to put that caveat in, unfortunately.

 

got_quiet: Zenitsu looking panicked (zenitsu)
You ever do that thing where you start a post but don't finish it, but when you go to finish it it's out of date so you end up rewriting half of it without finishing it, ad infinitum? I've had one of those sitting in my drafts for what feels like a month now,  so I'm just cutting it up and posting pieces of it before this results in my never posting anything ever again, which has happened to me in other places.

I caught an episode of Mashiro no Oto and was intrigued, so I went and picked up the whole series. It's a story about a depressed kid who's grandfather dies. The grandfather was a shamisen master and the MC, Setsu, of course picked it up from him and is some sort of shamisen prodigy. He's also however completely removed from the shamisen world and doesn't know anything about performing or competitions or whatever, so no one knows about him either. The story is kind of about him being able to "find his sound" and his frustration with asserting himself vs living up to the reputation of his grandfather and the pressure of his parents, who are absolute pieces of abusive shit.

More plus some music )


I've also been keeping up with each new episode of Kimetsu no Yaiba / Demon Slayers when it comes out. This one I'm 1000% into. The fights are so fucking good, and every episode is like injecting raw shonen energy into my veins. The only problem is that I haven't watched a show as it was being released in FOREVER, and this show in particular is really fucking with its viewers by putting out cliffhanger episode after cliffhanger episode. The wait is causing me mental anguish, but unlike Mashiro no Oto I absolutely don't want to spoil myself with the manga on this one because I don't want to dilute the hype.The last season was tops for animation. Just awesome combat scenes all around. The pleasure quarter arc just finished and I don't know if they're going to pick up with a new arc right off the bat. If not I'll need to find something else to watch. Maybe give Kill La Kill another shot.
got_quiet: Topper the stoat looking thing in a winter outfit (Default)
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Challenge #14: Scavenger hunt



Image heavy )
got_quiet: gif of Kim and Harry dancing (dance)
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Challenge #12 is about recasts.

I don't care about recasts because I don't tend to care much about actors. For the longest time I didn't pay attention to them all and would get a little irritated if I recognized them from somewhere else, but now I'm just ambivalent about it. Also I don't spend too much time with live action, and I don't pay any attention to seiyuu, so yeah. I tried to think of maybe an anime or something that might be interesting done by a different studio but I wasn't sure about that either, since the style of each show is so intrinsic to its identity. I guess I'm just one of those people that doesn't get very enthusiastic about remixes.

Challenge #13 Share a favorite memory about fandom

There have been a lot of good times. There are so many moments in WoW I remember fondly. Crazy raids, fun RP sessions, etc. And some good memories are tied to who I've shared them with, like when I was a kid and my Uncle took me and my brother on a special trip down to Baltimore to attend Otacon. It was my first big con and it was a massive event for me. Or when my best friend and I watched a lets play of fatal frame together through AOL lol cause there were no other convenient chat programs back then.

But the number one best fannish memory I have was when I was sitting in the Ghibli museum watching the small short movie that they play exclusively there. And it's important to me because of the context of why I was there.

I decided to start learning Japanese my junior year of high school. I was a pretty depressed and withdrawn kid at that time, dealing with your typical typical high school bullshit and basically feeling like there was nothing to live for. Studying Japanese gave me a goal and something to be enthusiastic about again, so I went balls to the wall with it since I had literally nothing else to do with my life at the time. Soon after I came across a CD that I incorrectly thought was a short video about the cat bus in Totoro. It turns out it was just the soundtrack, and when I did some research I learned that the video was exclusively shown at the Ghibli museum in Japan. So then and there I decided that some day I was going to sit in the theater in that museum and watch that film. For a variety of reasons I struggled a lot with carrying through on things. I had this sense in my heart that I was person just not capable of success, but this goal I was dead fucking serious about.

Fast forward three years. I was now a sophomore in college, and had somehow not let go of my dream. I was taking Japanese in college, and managed to get get my ass properly into gear to spend my sophomore year studying abroad in Japan. And many months into the program finally I go to the museum with some exchange student friends, we have a fun day there, and at the end sit down in the theater to watch the little film that our tickets have given us an entry to. The museum has a small batch of films that they play in circulation so there's no guarantee that any particular one will show, but that day they showed the video of the little cat bus that I thought I was purchasing those few years back.

I watched the entire film through tears lol. It was so embarrassing because when the film was over I was still weeping and all my friends were like aw yeah we liked it a lot too, and I was like, yup... that's why I'm crying. It's not that this is the first long-term goal I've ever achieved in my life or anything, as small and insignificant as it is... I still get emotional thinking about it honestly because it takes me back to a very special time.
got_quiet: Topper the stoat looking thing in a winter outfit (Default)
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Rec a fanwork (fic, art, vid, playlist, anything!) you did not create

I'm going to go through and rec all of the great artists that I follow. Some draw fanworks, but some just draw cool stuff so I'm interpreting "fanwork" extremely broadly here.!
Overwatch
[twitter.com profile] Nez__________  - I hope that's all the underscores lol. They draw a lot of Reyes, and also Reaper76 but I don't hold that against them (this is a joke I don't mind Reaper76)

[twitter.com profile] RedlandArt - Nice sketch work of game stuff, mostly Genji, Hanzo, and Cassidy.

[twitter.com profile] buttcheekwizard - Lots of NSFW with a juvenile sense of humor that is very much aligned with my own. I followed him for Overwatch but now he draws a lot of Star Wars clone stuff.

[twitter.com profile] gemsheldrake   - Beautiful and fascinating horror artist. They used to do a lot of Overwatch but they've branched out to more original work now.

Arcane
[twitter.com profile] primaveraart19  - They draw a lot of Viktor!

[twitter.com profile] O04447809O - Jayvik art! Often humorous cartoons but sometimes more serious and complex stuff like this.

Disco Elysium

[twitter.com profile] shutkal - They have a cool intentionally messy style with lots of Harry/Kim content. Often NSFW. And it seems they got a Man from Heimdall tattoo! =o

[twitter.com profile] BaklanDead - They draw a lot of video game stuff. I followed them for Disco. They do fun comics too.

 
Original
[twitter.com profile] IMZeroafterdark - Extremely NSFW straight guro stuff. (uh, not M/F straight, but unequivocally. It's all M/M)

[twitter.com profile] zireaelwow - Horny and very NSFW M/M SFM content.

[twitter.com profile] TFiddlerArt - They do very detailed and realistic pencil work. Kinda furry material? And sometimes NSFW. But look at this (SFW!) fruitbat were!

[twitter.com profile] WillowCreative_  - An amazing cosplayer and fabricator. She does full suits and they blow me away.

Pixel Art

[twitter.com profile] illufinch - lots of cute stuff! Critters and little fantasy scenes. And they contributed to a little Frog Gachapon Game where you can just spam pulls for cute little frog cards.

[twitter.com profile] waneella_ - Pixel landscapes that draw heavily from Japanese city life. Great for vibing.

[twitter.com profile] 16pxl - A big fan of brilliant color. They do skyscapes and other cute stuff.

Ok, I've worn myself out so I guess I stop there.

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In your own space, list your Fandom Wrap categories.


Little Long )
got_quiet: gif of Kim and Harry dancing (disco)
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Celebrate a personal win from the past year

Ah finally, a chance to just boast a bunch!

This year I picked up my Japanese study game a lot. I'd been trying to keep up with it on and off but I went back to making a concerted effort to study with regularity in 2021 and I feel like it's paying off. I'm still trash at it but this month I finally sat down and read a native language short story at a decent level of comprehension.

I've also managed to maintain a couple of consistent habits. I'm at a 410 day streak on 4thewords, and even though what I write is often personal journal stuff and not fandom output, it used to be difficult to keep up the habit, and now it's gotten much easier. I was able to keep up with my habit tracking too, so I have a record of an entire year's worth of after work habits and will make time to digest that information sometime later.

I posted 33 game reviews on my side blog, and have set myself up for the possibility that I might finish all the VNs in the BLM game bundle by the end of this year.

And finally I started posting more regularly here and have found some mutuals who are very nice! It's made things feel a bit like the good old days again.

got_quiet: Topper the stoat looking thing in a winter outfit (Default)
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Create something.

I'm not capable of coming up with something creative on command so I finished up another review for [community profile] playingstory instead. I've been meaning to get that one done for a while, anyway.

And since that's a short challenge, here is #7 too:


Tell us about 3 fandom resources

 

http://fayde.co.uk/ - This is a tool that lets you search the entire script of Disco Elysium, as well as reconstruct chunks of dialogue and peek at variable checks. Considering the game has more words than most novels, this makes for an essential canon review tool.

https://nyaa.si/ - Uh... self evident I think. Arr, mateys. I do stream anime on official channels whenever possible, but when there's a subscription lock for later seasons or what have you I have no shame.

Actually I have a much better one. https://4thewords.com is a gamified writing system where you fight monsters by writing a certain number of words within a time limit. It helps me keep a writing habit, even if it's mostly to keep a personal diary. The only problem is I have a habit of losing fights because after getting within 10 words of winning I wander off and forget... then come back and the 990 words I wrote before that have come to nothing (this just happened to me two minutes ago...)
 
https://www.legendkeeper.com/ - This is a campaign and worldbuilding tool that is just about to come out of closed beta. I've played around with it for my own projects and use it mostly like a personal wiki with more bells and whistles than usual.

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Talk about an idea you wish you had the time / talent / energy to do.

I'm slowly catching up.

This is a tough prompt, because just like resolutions, if I think about all the wild ideas I'd love to manifest if only I had the time/energy/talent... there's no end to it. The biggest one is IRL related, which is going into business for myself. It would be a big leap, and involve a lot of risk, and I very much do not do well working from home nor do I have space for a business so I'd need to invest money in office property, so basically, even though it's the natural next step in my field I remain an underpaid lackey for someone else at the moment.

Leisure wise there's a lot. Like I said in the resolution prompt one of the oldest and biggest to-dos has been to migrate the Bigass Fantasyland Challenge onto a new platform, either a website or an ebook or something, so that it would have more exposure and more people could use it as a resource. I put a lot of work into that thing and still occasionally collect prompts for some future 2.0. I live in constant fear that Gaia Online will finally start purging its old threads, and then it will be gone forever, though I do have a backup of the text at least.

Another worldbuilding pie in the sky idle wish is to make a podcast similar to a weird and interesting history/culture podcast, except it's exclusively about the world I've been working on since I was in elementary school. But I don't like my voice, don't have recording experience, and writing scripts is actually a lot of work! Also, who would want to listen to weird facts about a place that doesn't exist?

And just generally being able to sit down and work seriously on my worldbuilding would be nice. I have quite a lot written but it's all unorganized, and inaccessible even to me, which results in some awkward retcon mistakes and stuff like that. So to organize all that and do things like make the conlangs I have very broadly sketched out robust and stuff, pin down a more accurate map, get the timeline coherent, stuff like that, would be nice to do. This is probably the most achievable of all of them.

And I've got so many carcasses of aborted games sitting around. I've got one that's a fantasy version of 80 days set in the world I was building, and one that was meant to be a sort of modular M/M porn game... and another that was a more straightforward VN that I was working on more seriously than usual, but it involved a popular uprising and class war to some extent, and politics got weird IRL, and I shelved it.

Sitting back and playing video games is so much easier than creative work. ;_;

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This one is about AUs


I'm not the biggest fan of AUs, because typically my favorite part of most canons is the worldbuilding. It's not uncommon that I discard the characters completely and just am interested in the setting. But I do like reading them on occasion. The closer to canon they are the better, so usually the AUs I like are stuff like canon, but omegaverse, or canon, but werewolves are real. I also like canon divergence a lot. "What if" is always an interesting question.

That said if the excuse for the AU is porn logic I'm there with bells on. Also when I'm deep in a obsession I'll read literally anything, but that is a temporary state.

Looking through my bookmarks I really don't keep around many AUs. Here's what I managed to find.

  • Human - Is just porn logic Arthur/Cobb were Arthur is an incubus. It's otherwise canon.
  • This Thing of Ours - Is an Inception Mafia AU. It's massive and an eternal WiP but it's suspenseful. One of those fic that kinda feel like they could have been a novel.
     
  • Resist - Overwatch omegaverse with Cole/Reyes. That poor ship basically died before Blizzard went full villain so they don't even had a pairing name anymore RIP. But anyway I'm weak for omegaverse where the alpha is the submissive party.
  • Tell Me About the Years and Let Me Buy an Hour - More Cole/Reyes, this one a full AU where Reyes mistakes Cole for a high end escort and Cole just never corrects him. Classic rom-com miscommunication stuff.

 

---

And challenge 4 is: make a list of things that you wish existed in fandom or elsewhere,
and/or that you'd like someone to create or do for you.

Unless someone can hand me discipline extract and help me finish the 100s of thousands of words of drawer fic that are sitting around waiting for resolution I don't know if there's much I want. I suppose I want bigger fandoms for some of the more niche stuff I like. For example more shippy fic for Banner Saga or Long Gone Days would be great. And more places to just talk about stuff that aren't Reddit or Twitter would also be cool.

I've always thought it would be cool to collab with someone on a twine or renpy game, but I don't know how to start with that really. And the above mentioned discipline issues mean that I've always felt actively looking would be unfair to anyone who actually also wanted a creative partner because I'd probably be the one to flake.
got_quiet: Topper the stoat looking thing in a winter outfit (Default)
I just found out about this [community profile] snowflake_challenge com through the friending meme here (ty [personal profile] alias_sqbr =])

They're kind of like fannish prompts every other day, so I figured, ey, why not? Course I'm starting late, but that's not too much of an issue. I already did spruce up my profile (as in I rearranged my interests a little and added an icon of Zenitsu) so I'm skipping challenge one and going straight to 2, which is:

Set some goals for the coming year.

Ah yes, the New Years Resolution. I actually avoid doing this as best I can because I always go overboard and set so many demands on myself that if I look back on them at the end of the year I kind of feel like a failure. So I'm going to stick very strictly to fannish, inconsequential goals here that I am fine with completely missing.
  • Finish all the VNs in the BLM bundle. I'm about halfway through after two years and want to pick up the pace. I thought I might finish this year and then dropped the ball completely!
  • Post a fic. I never finish anything so one fic a year is about par for the course for me.
  • Read my Japanese light novel adaptation of Les Mis. This is a goal I have set for like... 12 years straight or something but SERIOUSLY THIS IS THE YEAR I'M GONNA DO IT.
  • Put out a twine game. Again. I never finish anything so this is a wash about as soon as I speak it into being.
  • Collect some stamps. I want to pick up some stamps from out of the country!
  • Fill out my legendkeeper project and convert my old Bigass Fantasyland Challenge off of Gaiaonline finally, jeesus.
Oh see look here I go shooting off into space already. This is why I avoid resolutions.

got_quiet: Zenitsu looking panicked (zenitsu)
Today youtube suggested I watch a two hour long video on the history of World of Warcraft. It seems to hit all of the major points, and watching it brought out some serious nostalgia. And even though WoW still exists and people still play it, the vid basically feels like a postmortem and a moment of closure for me as an ex-player.

Old WoW occupied a unique moment in time and basically defined my life for years. There's still stuff that happened in that game that I think of as some of the most memorable of my young life. It's a world I can never go back to, and it's weird to think about it sometimes as something that loomed so large for so long and then just disappeared for me when I finally quit cold turkey for the last time, something like 5 years ago. People I had spent more time with than anyone else in my life at that point were just gone. I still think about them sometimes and wonder how they're doing. There are moments when I wish I hadn't wasted so much of my life, literally years of /played, on WoW, and in the next second I wish more than anything that I was back then running through Azeroth with old friends on our various hijinks. It makes me tear up a little.

Ahh, I shouldn't have watched that video. I've been clean since Legion and I really can't go back, but I do wish there was somewhere else where I could get that same raw escapism. I know people are getting really into Final Fantasy now, but... It's just not the same.
got_quiet: Zenitsu looking panicked (zenitsu)

On the recommendation of Falllover I picked up a copy of Jhereg and I enjoyed it! It was like a murder mystery except backwards, where the mystery was about how to do the murder. I guess that makes it a caper story? Some of the writing felt a little dated, not thematically or anything but voice wise there's the sort of quippy dialog and humor that I associate with spec fic of a certain age, but it's not really a detriment, and the worldbuilding was interesting enough. There's just enough there to serve the plot it seems, and maybe to plant a few seeds for future developments. I'll probably pick up the second book too if my local bookstore has it. I need to go by to try turning around a few books I want to get rid of to make space anyway, as I am in severe need of Marie Kondoing my library. Like, severe. I ended up buying a new bookshelf over the New Years weekend to deal with the issue a little but I would much rather just get rid of some things.

The other thing I did over the New Years weekend was watch the entire fucking run of Demon Slayers. Like Season 1, Episode 1, through the movie, and then straight into the current arc to the most recent episode. It was a lot of show, but it was like catnip to me. I just needed some straightforward shounen combat, pure-hearted protagonists, funky monsters and cathartic tragedy. But I loved it. And somehow Zenitsu was my favorite, even though his constant screaming is neigh unbearable. He's just got my favorite character design of the three, and his terror is relatable, haha. I just wish he wasn't so obsessed with the ladies, but hey, shounen anime, I know what I'm signing up for.  Also, Inosuke having a bijin face is just... the weird sort of thing I will always find entertaining. I'm a simple person who enjoys simple pleasures. I'm now waiting impatiently for new episodes, and digging around for fan art. Unfortunately I find fanfic for anime to not be to taste so I'm kind of stuck there.

 

And here's the Cowboy Bebop Rant )
got_quiet: Topper the stoat looking thing in a winter outfit (Default)
 hope everyone else who celebrates had a decent Christmas and are able to see family. I haven't seen my family in over 2 years at this point so I'm starting to get a little salty about it, but what can you do. My roommate are both away visiting their families, which is adding onto the salt, but again, what can I do but be extra careful about avoiding other people for the next two weeks once they get back lol. Ugh.

Anyway, despite the non-existent holiday spirit here I enjoyed my day off. I got some cleaning done, which is always satisfying cause I let things go too long, and am sitting down to catalog the literal box of books I've picked up for literally a buck a piece just recently. Going through them now I'm sort of wondering what past me was thinking, but whatever, it's like a Xmas present to myself. (Past me was thinking, 1 dollar a book!!!)

 

Book Stuff )

 

About a month ago I picked up the Game Pass deal for one month for a dollar and tried a handful of games through that.

 
tldr Boyfriend Dungeon kind of sucked )
got_quiet: Topper the stoat looking thing in a winter outfit (Default)

tl;dr: Rhythm Doctor is a fun game, and Arcane is a fun show.

----

Early on this year I thought I was going to get through all of the VNs in the BLM bundle by the end of December, but that kind of got derailed in the second half of the year and is probably not going to happen. The amount of reading I've done has also been abysmal. It's a combination of having not much attention span anymore, and making the mistake of trying to read non-fiction books that are too fucking dry and analytical. I've gotten stalled out on a semantics book, and then I doubled down and stalled out on a book on stats and decision making. I need to read something entertaining to get the brain fired up again. I'm trying to read a book now that I'm obligated to review, and I'm not feeling it, but this one must be finished.
 

Vidya Games )

 

With the new live action Cowboy Bebop I finally watched the original series from beginning to end instead of seeing parts of random episodes. Even after all these years it holds up really well. The tone is so good. Humor, Hubris, Pathos, Tragedy, the absurdity of life and the dignity of it too. Everyone being maladjusted fucks who are in someways architects of their own awful fate but at the exact same time victims of an uncaring and unfair universe. And it doesn't overstay its welcome. It blows through and then is gone. I had enjoyed the random episodes I've seen in the past, but it was definitely nice to get it all beginning to end, and get the full experience so to speak.

I'm avoiding the live action because I don't like live action, but even moreso dislike live action adaptations, when animation imo can pull off things so much better for the sorts of wild stories that I enjoy.

Speaking of which, I also watched Arcane, and boy is that a pretty as hell show. I mean it really is one of the prettiest animated series produced in the west that I can recall. The melding of 3D and hand modified work was seamless and transcended the limitations of both, and the result was a feast for the eyes. It doesn't hurt that everyone in the show is eye candy too. And there were so many good characters.

 

More Arcane )
got_quiet: Topper the stoat looking thing in a winter outfit (Default)

Welp I've been spending about all my time lately playing Valheim. My friends got into it big time a few months ago and then then stopped after they kind of hit the limit of the content at the time, but there was a big patch recently and they jumped back in. I figured fuck it, I could do for something new right now, and joined them. I don't tend to like open world games at all, or survival games, or games that lack a pretty narrow progression, so I thought I would hate this, but it's actually gotten rid of a lot of what I dislike and put in a lot of what I like. The world is actually persistent. One person keeps the server running and we can all pop in and out to the same world and continue to build it up over time. The gear and crafting and stuff isn't too overly complicated, or reliant on too much grinding, and what grinding there is is spread out among lots of people so it isn't too bad. The crafting tree I don't need to worry about too much because the other guys seem to enjoy it, and the exploring is fun and the combat relies less on stats (you do need the most current equips but there is only one progression, not constant comparing of stats) and more on mechanics, which is what I prefer.

So I've been spending a lot of time with that game, building houses, stabbing my spear at people (And spears are my favorite weapons in games so I'm very happy that the spears here are strong) and generally enjoying myself. The building options are a little limited, but with some creativity you can make some nice things. One of the things that always frustrates me with a lot of building elements in games is the shitty scale. It makes sense because the purpose of games is to fit the stuff that needs to be inside a building in there, along with the camera, but a lot of time the scale is way too big. Valheim's system is off of cubes, with some leeway for angles, so it's easy to make things too big or with weird scale, but there's enough freedom that you can make stuff that looks kind of nice too. I made a little hut for myself right by the portal hub and a big "church" to learn the mechanics of how building works. I hold had wood to work with when I did it so now that we're in the end game I may make something new and better looking later.

There's also a "taming" option in the game. You can tame boars, wolves, and massive buffalo looking creatures called lox. The wolves hang around and defend your town from invasion, but they also howl constantly, so our peaceful little town is now full of doggy wailing. The lox are kind of cute in their low def way (everything in this game is kind of  low def, it's a very small company) and also turn out to be pretty good guard dogs because they trample everything in their path. I tamed one and called it Boop, and then someone else tamed another, and now there's a baby Boop. It's actually kind of cute.

 

Screenshots )


---

I'm still working through Octopath Traveler. It's slow going since I play it once every other week or so, but I have finished the main storylines and am now just cleaning up all the sidequests, which tend to consist of talking to one guy, then talking to another, then talking to the first guy, or talking to one guy, then guiding some other guy over to that first guy. Very simplistic. Honestly I don't know why I'm still playing except that I want to kill the final boss before I uninstall, and it's not like I can do anything that I have to actually focus on when I'm playing it to occupy myself during meetings or whatever.

---

I've had a hankering for faster paced games and so have been playing some Hades again, finally getting max hearts on everyone. I'm trying to beat a new game run but haven't gotten any further than Meg. But now I'm at least getting past Meg. I'm such a button smasher this is a real difficult challenge cause I just walk into damage lol. But that challenge is at least keeping things fresh.

---

Ended up watching the last half of Midnight Mass with the roommates. I enjoyed it well enough. My attitude towards most horror is that it basically a subgenre of comedy, and I kinda had to approach it that way to have fun. Horror movie logic is just too much for me otherwise. The monologues were also a little much. This was the first things I've seen by the director, and while I liked it my understanding is his other stuff is kinda similar? Or at least he's pretty strictly a horror guy? I didn't feel particularly compelled to seek it out.

---

I ended up picking up and reading Mieruko-chan, which is a manga about a girl who can see scary undead apparitions but tries to just pretend she can't. The series starts out with some really gratuitous fan service so I was a little apprehensive, but it's actually a fun story with an interesting cast and lots of mystery about what these monsters are, just how dangerous they are, what they want, all that. The few moments of really tension I felt were mostly based on the human characters, cause their motivations are not always clear, but despite all the crazy horror elements the tone is actually kind of heartwarming and uplifting, as poor Miko is trying to help her friends and do the right thing while also being perpetually scared shitless by the weird shit going on all around her.

---

It's also IF Comp time. I've got two games finished so far and enjoyed them both. I need to play three more in order for my votes to count. I always takes me forever to finish them up because I end up with executive dysfunction thanks to the deadline, haha. This is why I avoid doing exchanges too. They just make me extremely anxious as all I can think about is the deadline...

 

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